It was a little after 5 when they showed up and oddly enough it wasn’t really awkward at all, it was amazing. E-Fay gave off such and amazing joyful vibe, it was really contagious, and I instantly felt like we had know each other for years. So we start talking about stuff and this guy is so cool to talk to. We both have had our fair share of family persecution we started to talk about that.

E-Fay grew up and got his bachelor’s in thermal engineering in china. He became a Christian in between his 3rd and 4th year in college.  To give you a little background on his family his mom is a doctor and his dad is pretty high up in government security. I didn’t know this about china but to have a Christian meeting or church that isn’t state run is “Forbidden.” It was really interesting E-Fay’s English wasn’t that good and he doesn’t know the word illegal, so he would say forbidden. I was thinking about it and the word forbidden is so much of a better word to describe Christianity there, using that word really conveys such a serious tone. As you can tell, E-Fay accepting Christ in a country where his “underground church” is forbidden and having a dad high in the government security would not be good.

Before I go any farther I need to tell you a little about Chinese society and culture. Chinese students have the same 12-grade system we have here in America, but in China peoples lives revolve around it. I mad be wrong on this but from what I could understand the school systems are not state “public” schools, all elementary schools require tuition and are not free. What was really amazing is that E-Fay was saying every kid works as hard as they can so they can get into the best universities.  He was floored when I told him no one really cares that much about school here in America, Most high school student are just after a “Good Time.”

E-Fay was saying that students really don’t do anything in their lives besides school. No one had jobs and no one parties and no one just gets together to hang out. Sometimes a few guys will go out and play basketball for an hour once a week but that is rare. Student’s primary focus in life is doing the best in school, therefore outreaching to people before they are in college is basically not possible. Even in college it’s very rare to be able to reach out to there people. E-Fay said that most college student that are Christian’s had come from or went to America for a little bit and started spreading the word.

Hearing about how hard it is to outreach to students in china really makes me realize how blessed we are in America to have the opportunity to safely outreach to people. Because in china not only are young people consumed with school but it is also forbidden so it is extra hard. You really risk a lot by trying to outreach to people. I never really thought about it but being Christian in America we really take for granted the ability to even outreach to people.

Now it is truly a miracle E-Fay became a Christian. Its even more amazing that the son of a government official accepted Christ. After E-Fay accepted Christ the lord really started to work and chance his life in amazing ways. However to his parents, which were non-Christian, these were not good changes. E-Fay was accepted to Case Western College with a hefty scholarship but ended up turning it down because he wanted to see where the lord led him.  The most amazing thing is that he actually told his parents that!!! Needless to say that did not go ever well. His dad even threaded to tell the government police of the “underground Christian church” he was part of.

On a side note we had been hanging out for about an hour and a half now and E-Fay had eaten about three huge plates of food, and is a small guy. He absolutely loves American food, it was so funny to see. At this time Craig needed to leave but E-Fay was having so much fun talking to me that he decided to just stay and talk with me alone. This is the most amazing thing about brothers in Christ, is that unspoken basic trust.

After this he basically just asked me a bazillion questions about youth culture in America, which I wont bore you with.  However my favorite thing about the meeting was that I’m more affirmed now about what our ministry is doing and how were doing it than ever before. E-Fay was saying that our fellowship is almost identical to the way the Christian church is growing in china. E-Fay kept saying how lucky he is to find Craig and to work with our fellowship.

I can say I look forward to seeing this brother more and learning a  lot from him. I can say that I would really like to take a mission’s trip this summer to china or Taiwan (W/ the Gibson’s) to see how the church in Asia is going.

The magnitude of persecution that the youth of this fellowships is huge. I was sitting there and asking myself why lord? I have been struggling a lot this why this is all happening. Then I started to thinking from an omniscient point of view.  Basically I stopped thinking for Thomas and for Christ.

In school teachers teach their students…why? To prepare them for the future. Well at least that’s how it should be. In our current society, most teachers teach for the paycheck.

The interesting thing about going to school is the foundation we develop when we are young. When we are young our minds absorb so much information and for the most part we aren’t very willful yet. In many countries children learn multiple languages before they even reach High School, because they are so much easier to learn when your young.

People also say to develop good habits now while your young because its harder when you’re an adult. One reason for this though process is because normally as we get older we become much more will-driven.

Now what I’m really trying to say is that the lord truly has something amazing in store for the youth of this fellowship. Christ is pushing the youth so hard at such a your age, he truly has something amazing planed for us in the future. Jesus want us to realize this now and work towards it.

It possible I could be wrong. People in this fellowship have faced persecution before what is different about this time? The difference is this is fellowship wide and has never cost us our meeting place before.

I’m reminded of the parable of the wheat and the tare. The lord is truly separation the tares from the wheat. This can bee seen in the Riverwood incident, we were ready to handle this persecution however Riverwood was not so the lord gracefully separated us.

I am confident the lord is getting us ready for something big. I for one am really excited to see the lords plan for the youth unfold. I believe we are on the verge of a Christ lead revolution here on earth. And I could not be happier being on the front-line.

Over the next couple of months I kept coming around not giving too much thought to anything. I was raised catholic so I just figured that’s what I was and didn’t really care about anyone else’s opinion. After a while of blowing people off and not really want to think about this whole “God” thing I stopped coming. I would come maybe once a month just to keep people interested in me. It wasn’t really until my freshman year that I started thinking about God.

The time I really started thinking about god was the summer before my freshman year. That’s summer my sister ran away and that made me try and figure out a reason for such intense in pain in life. I decided I didn’t really know much about Catholicism so I decided to learn some about Christianity. Now the important thing to note here is that as time went on I started withdrawing into myself. I began almost creating alternative lives inside my head. I had a personal life that my friends and church saw, a family life that my family saw, and another life that existed inside my head. Once the foundation for these alternate realities was established, they intensified beyond my control.
At home I was the “good child.” I never really did anything bad or had any problems. Hell, my parents never even heard be curse while I was at home. My personal life, the life society saw me live, on the other hard was a very rebellious but I could manipulate my personality to fit the situation. At work I could appear to be an upstanding productive citizen of society but at school I was a rebellious intellectually that would try and dismantle anyone’s beliefs simply because I could (I sadly succeeded multiple times).  Lastly the life that existed in my head was the most depraved, and sad. I knew my life was built around lies and manipulation and I loved it, at least at the time I loved it.
As time went on, I did start learning about other religions and was honestly trying to find the truth. I claimed to be a plethora of different beliefs over that next year ranging from atheist to naturalist, to post-modern. However I eventually realize the only thing unifying these religions was the goal of destructing other religions. This is the first I noticed the premise of Christianity, love. I discovered this was unparallel to any other thought system on earth. There were no works, rituals, guilt, or resentment; nothing but love, and compassion to others.
An important thing to realize her this that at this time I had been hanging out with these people for almost three years now. One of the most amazing things to me was that everyone cared enough about me to engage in conversation. There was never any pressure to believe what they did, however they did try and persuade me, but that is expected.  One of the most amazing things is that all the people of this fellowship would try and make me think, more than anyone else had.

Personally I have always been a math and science guy. I have also been a pretty rational and linear thinker, I could never understand those artsy people that thought with their emotions and feelings. I always wanted something tangible and that could be proven. What was really interesting is that many of the people I talked to coming or teaching these bible studies were the same way. At this time I became very interested in how scientific thought related to Christianity.
I found out that science really supported Christianity and it was harder to believe in a theology of no god than Christianity. For example one of my biggest arguments was that the bible was simply a myth and couldn’t be historically justified or proven. One of the guys turned me on to The Dead Sea Scrolls. I remember learning about them in history class but never grasped the significance of them. The Dead Sea Scrolls are almost complete manuscripts of The Old Testament, that contain prophesy about the coming the messiah but were written hundreds of years before the prophecy was fulfilled.
One of these amazing passages was the Daniel 9 prophecy. This was one prophecy that was found with The Dead Sea Scrolls and predicts the coming of the messiah, crucifixion of Jesus, to the exact year. The most amazing part of this prophecy is that the parchment it was written on was carbon dated and was found to be written 500 years before the crucifixion of Jesus.  When I researched more into this subject I found that in no way has archeology disproved any aspects of the bible. As a scientific mind this was very important to me.
Near the end of my sophomore year I stopped coming to my friends bible study because I had grown too bitter for people making me think. A few months later in that summer I started coming back, because life got boring without friends that care for you. To my astonishment, everyone was welcoming and just as loving as before. It was Fourth of July weekend, and we had just got done having our Central Teaching and we decided to go play basketball and talk. As I was standing there watching this game this girl, Lauren Allie, walked up and started talking to me. We had just a short 10-15 minute conversation but I was most amazed that even after not coming around for a few months she was genuinely concerned about me, and where I have been for the past few months. At that moment I realize there was something significant and different about these people, love. So I prayed let god into my heart and for his death on the cross to pay for my sins.
I was old enough at this time to have a decent understand of how people think. I was at least able to understand that telling my family that I had become a Christian was not a good idea. Over the next two years I changed a lot but my triple life I was living still existed. Just because I had received Christ, as my savior, didn’t mean I was ready to follow the bible or listed to advice from my peers or Christian elders.
Over the next two years I kept going through this ebb and flow of spiritual highs. I would be really into god for a few weeks and then I would think I had control over my life and start doing things my way. When I decided to do things my way and not listen to what god had to say, I would eventually realize my life was a dark pit with no substance to it. It wasn’t until the middle of my senior year that I had hit rock bottom. It’s important to know that at this time I was still keeping my three-life profile. My parents knew nothing about my spiritual revelation and it was just because I knew how they would react. And none of my close friends from fellowship knew of the bad stuff I was getting myself into.
It was around the beginning of 2008 through June that I was at the pinnacle of my depraved state. I was spending a large portion of my time dinking and womanizing. Our human minds truly are amazing; I was able to keep up these alternative lives I was living and no one could tell. I had twisted and perverted my mind so much that I was content with the three completely different lives I was living.  It would take a major disturbance in my life to get me to realize what I was doing was wrong.
It was around the middle of June that I had fallen so deep into depravity that the lord would not hold back destruction in my life anymore. I woke up and drove to my high school awards practice ceremony. It was an absolutely beautiful day. I was proudly wearing my High School National Honor Society T-shirt. The shirt was bright green with orange lettering so we would stand out from everyone else because of our academic achievements. On my way home after our practice ceremony I was cruzing down the road so happy with my life. I was graduating in a few days, with honors, and was going to have a blank page to write the next chapter of my life. All of a sudden I plowed into the back of the driver in front of me going 45mph and knew nothing would ever be the same.
I stumbled out of my car and instantly know it was totaled. In one fatal swoop Christ attacked my pride and materialism, and humbled me in a way that struck the core of my heart and mind. I watched as all of my high school friends drive by the accident and saw me standing there in my NHS Shirt in front of the wreckage that was my life. At the time I didn’t see this but god would work through me fucking up to put uncountable blessings in my life.
Shortly after this I confessed everything that had been going on in my life with my friends. All of the sexual sin, drinking, pain killer addiction, and my alternate personalities. It wasn’t until this moment of complete destruction in my life that I could start to see clearly. God gave me an opportunity to start my life in a way that was centered around him. In other words, I chose life…
I decided I couldn’t live this broken and I started living only one life. I wasn’t as open with my parents but I was being more open. This ultimately led to me being kicked out of my parent’s house.
Currently my life is amazing. I am building my relationships with my friends and am leading my own bible study. I wish that I would be able to restore my relationship with my parents and have them be a part of my life. I am not sure when that will be but I will wait for the lords guidance.

* In looking over my baptism video I realized that there where a few points in which I need to clarify. The first was when I said that I was kept out till four in the morning on a school night with Keith talking about theology. Then I had also said we were at a bar. I need to clarify that the point I was trying to make was that I was so amazed grown adults were willing to sacrifice so much time for me help me with my life. That incident was a significant amount of time ago and the place we were at was actually just a wing house. Only being 16 at the time that was what I thought a bar was. As for the time I do believer we were there till 1 or 2 at the latest. However I did have parental consent to be out that late with Keith.

“Happy Thanksgiving Tom! I’m thankful for you! Have fun!” Elli Morscher

This simple text message from Elli, just absolutely broke my heart. Let me say I don’t talk to elli much and hardly ever see her, but for this girl to send me a text saying this, made me realize how loving my body of Christ it. I later realized that text by Elli was sent to practically everyone else in the world, but it still meant a lot.
Then next text I got from Justin needs to be mentioned too…

“Hey be at my house by 3:30” Justin Ducaine

Now after getting such a loving text from Elli, I got that bitchy text from Justin. I mean come on, not even a ”I love you tom” or “Happy thanksgiving” It was a true display of his selfishness. Now I shouldn’t go that far, because the reason he was telling me to be over at 3:30 is do I could have thanksgiving with his parents. So really his text was a little rough around the edges but at heart very thoughtful.
But all of that got me things about what I’m most thankful for, Christ.  I am so thankful for the dude who sent is only son to this depraved place we call earth, to get beaten, and his flesh ripped off, so he would be crucified on a cross.

16″For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” John 3:16

And because of this we are able to able to ask for forgiveness from our sins, and we will be born into a new Creature! And no longer have to live with our past sins.

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

Everyone praise god, for it is through him we may have eternal life.

16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 2 timothy 3:16 NIV

Even though the physical being of God is dead, he left us with his Word, his scripture. Therefore, the answer is simple, seek God through scripture, the Bible. I want to mention a few of the problems I have been having in my life and the answers I have found for them: life, power, and joy.
It all started about 2 months ago, in early September, when I decided to get baptized, and boldly declare my love for Christ; however, my parents don’t believe the same things as me. Despite this fact, I still asked my parents to attend my baptism. To my dismay, my parents refused and told me I needed to look for an apartment and move out.  In hindsight, this was a turning point for a rapid decline of communication and civility in my relationship with my parents.
Over the next two months I had various encounters with my family, and in some instances I lost my temper and acted ungodly, through my anger, with them.  Anger has always been one of my weaknesses. Some of these encounters include: emails, phone calls, letters, live personal meetings, and most recently a protest in front of the place where our weekly Bible teaching is held. Simply put, the objective of my family is to not allow me to have my free will or freedom of religion.

I am reminded of a song by Powerman 5000, entitled “Free”, which beautifully illustrates this concept of Freedom.

“Let’s go!
Everybody needs to start their own fire
Everybody needs a riot of their own
Everybody needs to be something that they are not
Everybody needs to go it alone

Because!
Living so free is a tragedy
When you can’t be what you want to be
Living so free is a tragedy
When you can’t see what you need to see”

The concept of freedom is a huge biblical concept as well.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 NIV

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. Galatians 5:13 NIV

“In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.” Ephesians 3:12 NIV

Jesus Christ loves us with all His heart and, therefore, He gives every person free will. However, with the sinful nature of man, and all the evil we do, why did Christ give man freedom? So we would be able to love him and others by our own choice. When discussing this concept, I always like to think about what if God didn’t give man free will? And in answering this question, I like to think of robots. If God didn’t give us free will every person would essentially be a robot. I would much rather some one chose to love me, instead of me making them love me, like I would a robot.

As I mentioned before I have a problem in dealing with my anger; thus, I have a problem loving and showing grace. In dealing with these problems I must seek refuge in The Word of God, The Bible.

8To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;

9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
1 peter 3:8-9 NASB

19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord.
21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:19,21 NASB

The bible says instead of returning evil and insults I need to give blessings and show love instead. The answers for my hardships and problems are all right in front of me, in the most popular book ever written, The Bible. It is because of this, that I find my life with Christ so amazing.  Knowing that I can find the answer to anything I need help with.

I, personally, love my life, and will never give up my life with Christ for any reason. Some must be asking, why continue serving the Lord even after some people have persecuted and turned away from me? The reason is simple…

16″For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.  John 3:16 NASB

Christ has given me the gift of eternal life, through the death of his son on the cross. I am compelled to share this with every person I meet and live as a servant to Christ Jesus, so that others may know the love he has given me. More than anything I pray that my family would see the love Christ as given me and let him enter their heart.

This is how I am feeling right now. I’m so emotionally confused and drained; all sense of reality, time, and worldly needs is gone. I feel as if I am on a distant world, and seeing my life in the third person. I think I am seeing my life from a godly perspective and starting to be able to differentiate spiritual importance from worldly importance in a way I have never seen before.

What has thrown me into the chaos? Persecution. I spent hours looking for a picture that truly represented my oppression. However I couldn’t find one.

At the heart of my persecution, there is a restriction of freedom of religion. Saturday night it was the image of 3 persons standing on the sidewalk, protesting against my right to freedom of religion. Snow was falling all around as the yellow tinted glow of the headlights cast light onto the three persons, holding protest signs, only to reveal their identity’s.  There were my parents, and a young girl, unable to identify.
This image will surly be burned into my memory for all of time. Since that night I haven’t been able to eat, drink, brush my teeth, or even piss without seeing those three people on the road.

Pray for my family, that they would know the love of Christ, as I do. The path to this outcome is neither quick nor easy. However no force is on earth a match for the love from Jesus Christ.  The lord will shine light onto my family’s life.  If I am able to seek strength and protection with Jesus, my dealings with my family will yield victory.

Please pray for my family as I do. Pray that Jesus softens my families’ hearts, and allows the Holy Spirit to enter. Pray in any godly manner.  Finally pray in thankfulness that Jesus loves his children, and offers everyone salvation through grace.

It is through persecution we grow in Jesus Christ. It is through persecution we are able to spread The Good News.  Paul is an inspiration to me at this time. I have not encountered a fraction of the persecution Paul was able to overcome, and he was able to keep joyful.  It is a result of Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice we are able to have joy in this world…

I must wait and allow The Holy Spirit to work through me when he is ready. I cannot restore this relationship with my family without the Lord’s help. My family is confused, and the Lord’s love must enter into my families’ hearts.

Thomas Smith